Trends To Watch in 2026 (Not Seriously...)
Do me a favor and don’t take this too seriously. This is less of a forecast and more of a roast. Let’s laugh at ourselves, shall we?
A friend asked me what trends I saw coming in 2026 for our industry. I think, at times, I feel a little like a financial advisor whose clients ask about the future of the stock market. I can make a somewhat informed guess, but who the heck knows at this point? Is there anything interesting to say beyond the big brands buying as much as they can and we seem to be returning to wirehouse-style models, even among the big independent RIAs and BDs?
Well, in the spirit of good fun, here is my list of not-so-serious predictions for 2026. (These aren’t real takes, please don’t sue me.)
Industry & Big Players Predictions
LPL announces a new AI service model: an automated bot that takes 6 months to reply “We’re looking into it.”
Morgan Stanley launches “Wellness Wednesdays” — advisors get 15 minutes of yoga before their 2-hour compliance meeting.
Edward Jones goes remote… kind of. They let advisors work from home, but only if they keep their door open and wear a green vest on Zoom.
Merrill rolls out a new retention program: They rebrand golden handcuffs as “Freedom Bracelets.”
Wells Fargo wins J.D. Power Award — for “Most Creative Apology Emails.” (I will say, they seem to be getting better on that front.)
Recruiting & M&A
Recruiters replaced by ChatGPT clones that only respond with, “Have you considered independence?” (At least it’s honest about its fees?)
RIA M&A deal volume hits record highs — 80% of sellers claim they’re “not retiring, just taking more golf calls.”
Every aggregator rebrands as “next-gen” while still using fax machines for ACATs.
Big wirehouse retention packages now include free therapy sessions and a branded stress ball.
Independent firms get so consolidated that one giant RIA is renamed “United States of Aggregators.”
Advisor Life Predictions
The average advisor age drops from 59 to 58.5, thanks to one new college hire.
Compliance departments introduce “Pre-Crime Reviews.” Advisors must get pre-approved for thoughts they might have.
Social media compliance software starts auto-flagging posts containing “independence,” “LPL,” or “freedom.”
Advisors stop measuring AUM and start tracking “Minutes Spent on Hold with Home Office.”
Client review meetings now include AI avatars that say, “We’re cautiously optimistic” on loop.
A new hot recruiter niche emerges, comprised of advisors who refuse to join anything.
Tech & Platforms
LPL upgrades its platform again — it’s now 30% slower but with a sleeker login screen.
FinTech startup launches “Advisor Tinder.” Swipe right on firms that say they’re independent but secretly take overrides.
DocuSign introduces a new feature: Automatically apologizes for lost signatures.
CRM integrations hit all-time high. None actually work, but there are more of them.
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Did I miss any? Here’s to a great 2026! May we have fun, do great work, and still keep the ability to laugh at ourselves.